Thank you to the few who sent in this question. You are correct; it is not from the Night Tide Musings pamphlet.
Sitting under my rock in the cold, smothered in brain fog, I had completely forgotten I even published those words. I originally wrote them when I was sixteen years old, and it is strange—though not bothersome—to see them shared out of context. Once I put my thoughts out into the world, I sensed that people might attach their own meanings to them. I am guilty of it myself. As long as it isn't hurting anyone, seeing people find their own value in it works for me.
The line is a personal metaphor about witnessing dependency regarding someone in my life. The point was simple: when you let something highly addictive or consuming into your life, the impact stays with you permanently. It was just my way of processing how difficult it is to break bad habits or escape intense obsessions.
As for the drink itself, I still enjoy it occasionally, but not more than a cosy cup of tea with honey.
P.S. That image back there? It is a photo of some photos of yours truly way back when. Why the slight smile or death stare? I cannot remember that either. It was likely due to two things: on the left, like most Sagittarians, I was horsing around; on the right, I was heavily sleep-deprived and hallucinating my Nonno giving me the “finger purse” from the heavens.